As a business coach for employees ramping up their side business to full-time income, there’s a super common pattern I see that is sneaky and yet oh-so-very poisonous when it comes to building your business.
HATING YOUR JOB.
“Why the f*#$ else would I be building a business to ESCAPE?” your brain might be saying.
Here’s the thing though– if you’re spending your day like the Instant Pot, with intense pressure building of what an asshole your boss is, or how Bob just made ANOTHER rude comment, and SERIOUSLY why is there a separate weekly team, department AND company meeting where we go over all of the same material– if this soundtrack sounds familiar, then with the end of the workday also comes a desire for RELIEF from the pressure.
And that usually looks like…
And a whole lot of social media scrolling!
Oftentimes, by the end of the workday, it feels like there’s nothing left for building a business.
So if this sounds familiar, here are 4 easy steps to help you get some of your time and energy back.
Step 1: Make a List of Thoughts
Set a timer for five minutes and make a list of the thoughts you find yourself ruminating on the most during the workday.
If identifying a specific thought brings up either a ton of overwhelm or makes you want to Hulk smash some things, put a star next to it.
Make yourself continue brainstorming for the entire five minutes. This will be an extremely useful tool when building your business.
Step 2: Review the List of Thoughts
Look at your list and recognize that they are all, in fact, just optional thoughts.
Sometimes clients try to argue that their boss is, for sure, certifiably insane. If you’ve got one of these items on your list, that FEELS like a fact– here’s a good question to ask:
Even if I assume it IS true, how is it useful for me to spend my day ruminating on this thought?
Nelson Mandela once said,
“Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting it to kill our enemies.”
Being resentful about your job, your boss, your department chair that smells like cabbage– it literally only hurts YOU and holds you back from building a business and life you love.
Cindy Cabbage is just living her life, smelling like cabbage and doing her thing, and you spending your workday pissed about it literally does nothing but wear you out!
Step 3: Choose a New Thought
For each old, unhelpful thought, choose a new thought that you CURRENTLY believe. This can’t be like woo woo mantra crap. It has to be something that feels true in your bones, so for instance:
Trying to turn “I hate my boss” to “I love my boss” might send your brain into a full-blown revolt!
But maybe “I hate my boss” can easily transition to “My boss means well and her meeting outbursts are about her, not me.” Do you see how the emotional charge is A LOT more neutral in the new thought?
That’s the goal. Take the thoughts that are draining down your battery and shift them to things that make your workday feel less like pushing a balloon under a pool of water all day.
Step 4: Continue the Brain Training
Have you ever tried to put a toddler to bed? That’s what retraining your brain is like.
Once you identify the old thought and shift to the new one, it will likely want to go back to the old thoughts. There are cozy neural pathways there.
But in the same way, you would take a pesky toddler that had snuck out of bed, and lovingly lead them back there, so you must do with your brain.
Every time you notice it running the old thought pattern, just gently lead it back to the new one. If you’re new to thought work, you probably want to try shifting one thought at a time, starting with the bigger ones you “starred.”
Before long, thought by thought, you’ll have a totally neutral mindset about your job, which means not only happier workdays but SO much more energy and time to put into building your business.
You can even start to build a more resilient mindset after a while of training your brain on how to handle these thoughts!
What’s the biggest thought standing between you and a better workday… and a bigger business?